Monday, November 18, 2019

The 6 Surprising Things I've Learned from my 6 Year Relationship

Hey earth muffins! Today is a very special day... It is my boyfriend and I's six year anniversary! 😍 I cannot believe that we have been dating for this long, especially since a little over four years has been long distance. To reminisce about our relationship (and similarly to what I did last year), I thought it would be fun to share some of the takeaways I have learned from being in such a long term relationship with my high school sweetheart. 😊

A picture of a couple enjoying the fall scenery around them

Long distance takes a lot of work and communication. My boyfriend and I obviously thought a lot about if we wanted to continue our relationship when we would have to be long distance. Clearly we made the right choice by giving it a try! 🙃 There is no beating around the bush - long distance is extremely difficult and emotionally taxing. It is honestly one of the hardest things that I have ever had to do. There will be inevitables that happen as a LDR couple (such as missing them all the time, etc.), and we have found that communication is even more important because you don't get to see each other as often. If you want a long distance relationship to work, you definitely need to make it a priority and allocate time to keeping (and building!) your relationship strong. This can build you up as a couple, so we have found that it has been worthwhile even on the toughest of days. ❤️

Relationships aren't always about being "fair" or keeping things "equal". My boyfriend and I have always tried to split everything 50/50, but there comes a point in time where you have to learn that not everything should be "equal" depending on certain circumstances. For us, this has become evident in who has to travel to see who, as my boyfriend is much more restricted on his leased car which requires me to visit him more. And that is totally fine! Other people will often question why certain aspects of the relationship do not seem "fair" to an outsider... So it is important to recognize that what works for you and your partner is the only thing that matters.

No one understands your relationship like you do. Family, friends, random people on the street, they will all judge you based on just human nature. Don't feel like your relationship is worth less than it actually is based on the opinions of other folks. You and your partner know what works for you - so keep building your relationship even stronger!

Make sure you are holding your relationship to a realistic expectation. Disney movies, romantic comedies, novels, even porn have totally increased the expectations of what a relationship should look like and be. I would often fall into these traps when I hadn't see my boyfriend in a couple of weeks, so it is super important to remind yourself that your love story is BETTER than the one of Cinderella or Snow White.

Word documents are actually a great way to solve fights. I know, I know it is very random. But, my boyfriend and I have found that taking the time to type out our frustrations/comments/thoughts on a Word document when we have something to say is a really awesome way to talk through any issues we might have. This "letter writing" fighting style has helped up get through some pretty challenging discussions that have truly helped us grow as a couple. By writing out your thoughts, you are forcing yourself to truly evaluate what the main sources of the problems are instead of resulting in a heated argument where you both say something that you regret. I would definitely recommend trying this method out!

It is important to take the time to set goals for your relationship with small steps to look forward to. My boyfriend and I are currently looking forward to our first long trip together to Disney World over Spring Break. Then, we are planning on moving in together at the end of the summer to finally end our long distance. 💖 Having these small goals and things to get excited about helps grow your love - we are so excited to continue our journey as a couple to see where the world will take us!

What have you learned from your relationship? Comment below and don't forget to follow Life of an Earth Muffin to never miss another post!


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1 comment:

  1. Congratulations! This is such a wonderful milestone. I love this list, especially number three. It is so so true.


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